Before addiction became the thing that nearly destroyed my life, it gave me something I could not find anywhere else. Relief. We are taught that addiction is the problem. But it was also a solution, something to fight, something to get rid of…
I do not know how old you were when you first learned that being loved could require you to leave parts of yourself behind. Maybe you were twelve. Maybe you were six, eight, or fifteen. The age does not matter as much as the moment your body quietly decided. This is…
I used to think waking up would feel bigger. For me it has been quieter than that, and it began with very ordinary questions. Do I actually want to go? Is this still true for me? The self I left was never completely gone.
For a long time, I thought worry was love. I learned it young, waiting on a dark balcony for my father’s headlights, sure that if I noticed danger early enough I could stop it. I am learning now that I can love someone and still sleep.